Here I am, sitting in front of the computer with a can of Diet Rite soda trying to figure out what to write about. We were told that we could write about any thing we want so I try to think of something interesting to others; something that will make them laugh or give them food for thought but I fail miserably. Instead the only thing I can think to write about is about my family, specifically my grandchildren. I can talk forever about them and I know I go overboard about them. And that's when it hit me. That is my subject. You know...the mother who talks so much about her little angel that even her closest friends are tired of hearing about the brat and even go as far as trying to avoid her.
Anybody who has friends with children or grandchildren knows exactly what I am talking about. Even those that don't have kids probably know. We almost all have worked with somebody like that, went to school with them. or have a friend or family member who fits the bill perfectly.
I used to work with a lady like that. Every break we got, the first thing out of her mouth was, "Did I tell you about..." and if I said no, the next 15 minutes were wasted on listening to stories about little Susie's potty training antics or little Johnny's discoverance of his "special" little body part. And if I said yes then she would immediately start telling me about a different incident that would be sure to embarrass the kid when he/she gets older.
At first it was cute...sometimes. It got to the point though that I asked my boss to let me take my break at a different time. She changed her break too. It was so bad that not only did I have to listen about it direct from the horse's mouth but I had to hear the horse's mouth repeat the story over the phone a hundred times to all of her relatives and other friends, and sometimes to the client on the other end of the line. It was so bad that I was considering evil ways on how to get her to shut up. No, duct tape wouldn't work even if it was the fix it all tape. If I could catch her sleeping...super glue? But I was never around when she slept. I know...no, that wouldn't work either. Nothing legal or worth jail time came to mind.
I seriously thought about being honest and letting her know that I didn't give a rat's behind (although that is not the exact word I used) about her daughter's potty habits or how her baby boy pulled on "it" which made him cry. Not that I wasn't sympathetic to the kids, but there is only so much you can listen to and not want to stick your finger down your throat. I also did not want to hurt her. After all, she was only guilty of being a proud momma. But enough is enough...so I changed jobs.
I didn't quit my job or anything like that, but I did put in for a transfer to another department with only one open position and I got the transfer. It solved my problem. I never had to listen to her at work any more and since we didn't associate much outside of work, I seldom heard of little Susie or little Johnny. But then new problems arose. I didn't like my new job so well and now there was Mary telling me all about her new husband (number 6, no less) during every break! I guess there is some moral to this like appreciate what you have...or listen and learn...or something. I think next time I will risk a friendship or take the risk of hurting someone's feelings. So Mary, if you are out there "PLEASE SHUT UP!"